Read at your own risk!!

I didnt know what title to give this post written in the middle of a Sunday night (if 11 o'clock can be called middle of the night ;) ) It might be a depressing read so proceed at your own risk!! So, I gave the warning in the title :)

Why is life full of difficulties? Well, it has its share of happiness too. But sometimes I think about this a lot: why life? I really cannot understand why millions of people exist on earth and each one goes through similar hardships and ups and downs, one birth after another, if the reincarnation theory is to be believed. It baffles me, why god, if there is one, wants not one or two but millions of people to go on living completely insignificant lives. I mean ok, some people have made history and all that, but fine, I fail to see the importance of all of this.
I wonder why I am alive. It wouldn’t make any difference to anyone if I was not born. But now that I have already lived a few years, some people would be sad if I am not here but they will recover sooner or later. And to think, people want to give birth to bring more people to live through miserable lives!! The kid would fall sick, cry while going to school, get bullied at school, get depressed at not doing as well in exams as the other kid, worry about getting admission to college, struggle to get a job, find a spouse, learn to adjust into married life, become a parent, struggle to take care of finances, child’s education, parents health, his own health, grow old and suffer all the aches and pains of old age, and then die only to be reborn and live through all of this again!! Sounds very terrible to me.
The saints/gurus say that happiness/bliss is within you and all that stuff. It sounds good to listen to. But what bliss are they talking about. And it is within you! Are you serious? I can only see misery, tensions with a bit of happiness here and there.
Well don’t get me wrong. I am not unhappy or leading a very miserable life as per the normal standards. My life is pretty much above average: I have wonderful people in my life and there are a lot of people to care for me and look after my happiness.
I haven’t even completed half of my life; considering average human lifespan and I already feel like I don’t have much more to do in life. I don’t want to go on living just for the sake of it. I feel like vanishing somewhere. Hey, the Himalayas sound like a good idea ;)

You know, I think I found why I feel all this. Maybe it is because I don't like to face hardships or difficulties or anything which requires more effort. I love running away from difficulties and I want difficulties to run away from me. Is there any way I can do that? other than going to the Himalayas and getting buried under the snow :)